Mediators Anticipated, 28 Aug - 25 Oct 2000

Last modified 03 Mar 2001, 17:45-0500

Some liberties have been taken with format, but not content, except that contact information has been remove.

Letter to Robert Moore,
by Mel Harkrader Pine, 28 Aug 2000

Subject: Help From JPD
Date: Thu, 07 Sep 2000 11:14:28 -0400
From: mmatheny
To: [UUCF Chat]

The following letter from Mel Pine, a JPD board member and our liaison with the JPD, was sent to the UUCF Board of Trustees on August 29th.

Subj: help from JPD
Date: 08/28/2000 12:58:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: [Mel Pine]
To: [Robert Moore]

Robert --

As you requested, I'm summarizing in this email some phone conversations we have had. You approached me because I am the Joseph Priestly District board member assigned to be the liaison with UUCF. I was also the president of the Unitarian Universalist Church in Reston for 2 1/4 years, ending June 30, 2000. So when you asked me about help that JPD offers to churches experiencing conflicts, I was able to answer readily. As president of UUCR, I twice was the recipient of help from the JPD, and as a board member of JPD I see a little from the point of view of the district.

A large part of the district executive's job is providing help to congregations experiencing some sort of conflict. Ideally, the request for help will come from the President. Both times that I asked for help from the JPD district executive, the DE responded quickly and effectively. In one instance where there was conflict among members of the congregation, for example, the DE first was briefed by me over the phone, then spoke on the phone with various parties to the dispute, after which she facilitated two sessions at UUCR, at which the parties were able to hear each other better. She provided only the help we asked for, by the way. She acted as our consultant, not as someone trying to tell us what was best for us.

There was no charge for these services. As I said, that's a large part of the DE's job and covered by the DE's regular salary. Even the auto mileage for travel to the church was picked up by the JPD, not the church.

My experience was not unusual. Churches large and small avail themselves of this service quite often. I would be glad to brief any members of your church leadership on this process. By the way, the Rev. Richard Speck is currently settling in as the JPD's new acting DE. He is the person your church leadership would call on, and the best way to reach him would be by calling the JPD administrator, Tina Sanchez, at 302-778-4564.

Please feel free to call on me for any help I can provide.

-- Mel

Mel Harkrader Pine

Letter To Board on Facilitator,
by Craig Goff, 16 Sep 2000

Subject: Letter to Board on Facilitator
Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 16:49:30 -0400
From: Craig Goff
To: [Mary Foster]
CC: [numerous others]

Dear Mary,

I understand that you are the person that makes e-mail distribution to the Board members. Please make a distribution of my letter below. I have cc'd some of the Board members for whom I have addresses. You may know the other addresses. If a Board member does not have e-mail at home, please copy this message and put same in their mailboxes at church.

I have copied and pasted the letter below from a Word file. I hope the carriage returns have come out correctly. I have not copied Jim on this correspondance. It is my intent to communicate with the Board, but you certainly can distribute this letter to whomever you wish. I await the Board's response.

Thank you.

Craig Goff

_________________________________________________________

To: UUCF Board of Trustees
Re: Request for UUA Mediation
Outside, Objective UUA Conflict Resolution

After attending the Tuesday, September 12 Board meeting, I understand that you are calling Stefan Jonasson for conflict management within UUCF in late October. After discussion with some members of the congregation, I have serious concerns about the appropriateness of Stefan acting as facilitator or conciliator.

  1. When Jim Nelson invited the April 18 letter signers to meet with him on May 31, they discussed Stefan. The letter signers strongly questioned the advisability of Stefan's participation. Jim indicated he was impressed with Stefan's work as "the UUA consultant on Large Churches." Members attending that meeting said that petitioners' issues and concerns were not large church issues but fundamental UU issues.

  2. I believe much conflict at UUCF arises from not following the revered UU operating principle of polity. Polity in this case is the division of power and authority between the Senior Minister and the Congregation's Lay members. Polity has nothing to do with large church issues.

  3. Given Jim's ongoing conversations with Stefan, petitioners question whether Stefan can bring the requisite objectivity to UUCF. My concern is that Stefan is Jim's choice with Board concurrence. It should be the Board's choice with or without Jim's concurrence. How can Stefan be viewed as objective when Jim has for months championed his candidacy? Additionally, in the May 10 Newsletter, Jim said Stefan would be here this fall to meet with "all the large congregations, together and separately" in the Washington area. Is his visit in October a part of this previously planned trip?

  4. A major issue of UUCF conflict concerns the roles and responsibilities of Jim versus members of the congregation. How can the conflict be resolved if the person who is central to the conflict is campaigning for a particular facilitator?

    To avoid conflict of interest, Jim should excuse himself from this process of choosing the facilitator. The Board should carefully examine and determine the best choice for the Church. Again, this is an issue of polity.

  5. On various occasions, we have requested that petitioners be allowed to work with the Board in determining a facilitator and the parameters for conflict management. This would allow all parties to be equally assured of objectivity. To date, there has been no response to our request. Although there have been concerns raised about Stefan, they have been ignored.

    It is critical to the success of this process that all parties are comfortable with the facilitator and the conflict resolution procedures.

  6. I am puzzled about why the Board would look outside our own Joseph Priestly District. As you know, various JPD Executives have been used successfully to help resolve conflicts in both large and small churches and are available at no cost to UUCF.

  7. Stefan is the "UUA Coordinator for Large Churches." Apparently he is a native and current resident of Canada, and a half-time UUA employee. I question whether he has the knowledge and experience in the long heritage and tradition surrounding the Unitarian principle of polity in the United States.

  8. On August 29, a letter from Mel Pine, the JPD's liaison for UUCF, was forwarded to the Board. It is worrisome that the Board has decided to bring in Stefan without first contacting Mel to discuss readily available, no cost options for conflict resolution from within our district. What costs would we incur from Stefan's visit?

  9. UUCF members clearly deserve detailed information on the conflict management process to be used. A few years ago, a group of concerned members were interviewed by an Ombudsman Committee. The Committee wrote a report with a multitude of constructive recommendations that have never been implemented. If that report had been taken more seriously by succeeding UUCF leaders, it is unlikely we would be experiencing our current difficulties.

  10. In addition to the matter of polity, many petitioners see the issues as reflecting the various needs of a diverse congregation. They do not view this simply as a conflict among UUCF's leaders, ministers and the petitioners. Petitioners believe a primary part of the conflict resolution process should include a congregational meeting, where all members are guided to listen with compassion and without judgment to the needs of others, then discuss possible compromises and methods for resolving the conflicts.

I look forward to hearing from you soon, so I can share your remarks with the petitioners and generate more support for a balanced and objective process. Thank you for your time in responding to these concerns.

Sincerely,

Craig Goff
Former UUCF Board Member and President

Letter to Congregation,
by John C. Cunningham, 23 Sep 2000

Subject: Letter to Petitioners
Date: Sun, 1 Oct 2000 22:31:20 -0400
From: "Alex Machina"
To: "Birds of a Feather"

The following letter was sent to signers of the April 18 petition. I see no reason why every member of the Congregation should not be aware of its contents:

==========================================================

September 25, 2000

This concerns the petition you submitted to the Board in August for the engagement of a UUA consultant on conflict resolution. In response to your petition and those submitted by other UUCF members, we have engaged Reverend Stefan Jonasson and Reverend Richard Speck to assist the Congregation in addressing the concerns that have been expressed to us. Rev. Jonasson is the UUA's consultant for large congregations. Rev. Speck is the new Acting District Executive for the Joseph Priestly District.

Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will be at UUCF during October 27-29. It is possible that their schedule could be extended. The process will be open to any member of UUCF who wishes to participate, and will generally feature meetings with small representative groups. A detailed and specific schedule will be made available as soon as possible. It should be understood that Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will be here only as consultants, not as arbitrators with authority to impose binding solutions. At the conclusion of the meetings, a joint report will be prepared for consideration by the Congregation.

To help prepare Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck for their visit and to make this process work as well as possible, the Board has provided each with copies of the 1998 ombudsman report; the response of the Board of Trustees to that report; the April 18, 2000, letter to the Congregation; all written statements submitted to us; and the signed petitions. However, most of the petitions do not indicate the issues of particular concern to the signer. Therefore, we are asking the questions set out at the end of this letter to each of the current active UUCF members who have submitted petitions. Regrettably, some persons who submitted signed petitions are no longer active members.

Please respond by October 8. You should address your response to me, c/o UUCF, and I will forward it on to Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck. If you wish to communicate with Rev. Jonasson or Rev. Speck directly, the addresses are set forth below. Each stated to me, however, that prior to coming to UUCF, his response would be limited to acknowledging receipt of any messages.

Rev. Stefan Jonasson
[Contact information removed.]

Rev. Richard Speck
[Contact information removed.]

Any member of the Board would be glad to meet with you privately about these questions or the visit by Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck, if you think that would be helpful. We value your comments and thoughts.

Sincerely,

John C. Cunningham, President
On behalf of the Board of Trustees

==============================

  1. Do you have issues of personal concern about UUCF yourself, or did you sign a petition in support of other members?

  2. What issues of personal concern would you like to present to a conflict resolution consultant? Please be as specific as you can.

  3. For each issue you have listed, why do you believe that a consultant from outside UUCF is necessary to achieve a resolution?

  4. For each issue you have listed, what would you like to see happen? Again, please be as specific as you can.

    ________________________________________________
    Name

    Return to: John Cunningham UUCF
    [Contact information removed.]

    Mediators at UUCF,
    by Chris Mason, 15 Oct 2000

    Subject: Mediators at UUCF
    Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2000 17:25:23 EDT
    From: Chris Mason
    To: [UUCF Chat]

    Dear UUCFers,

    Since you heard me speak out many times over the past year about community building and many of you saw my efforts to form bridges, honoring differing beliefs and views about UUCF, I thought it only right that I now express my joy and hopes that the next few weeks and months will bring about a reconciliation and resolution that will allow us to continue to move forward in peace and love. Note that the emails I will be sending on death and dying also have some messages for us about dying to the moment and preparing for the next, or to put it in biblical terms, to approach life as a child, with a sense of freshness, and focus on the wonder and awe of the now. Opportunities for healing should be plentiful. I urge us all to, in Stephen Covey's words, "seek first to understand" each other and then to place some faith or trust in the power and mystery of the universe. To realize that paradoxes sometimes are to be accepted, that not everything needs to be linear or rationale, and that we each have a deep seated goodness that we bring to life and to this church community. Please be willing to listen to the inner voice that says that these circumstances can change, that this journey is important--just as important, if not more important, than the end.

    In peace and love,

    Chris Mason

    Schedule for Conflict Resolution Process,
    by John C. Cunningham, 15 Oct 2000

    Subject: Schedule for Conflict Resolution Process
    Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 22:20:02 -0400
    From: "Alex Machina"
    To: "Birds of a Feather"

    The following letter was mailed to UUCF members today. It outlines the schedule for conflict resolution. The letter states that the process is open to "any member of UUCF who wishes to participate". It further states that "Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck are willing to meet with friends and other non-members of UUCF, but only after all members have been accommodated".

    Please distribute this email to members, friends and former members and friends as you see fit.

    --
    --Alex

    ==========================================

    Schedule for Conflict Resolution Process

    Dear Members of UUCF,

    In the last UUCF newsletter, I wrote that the Board of Trustees had unanimously granted petitions from 85 of our members for the engagement of a conflict resolution consultant to help the congregation in addressing certain issues raised by the petitioners. I also said that Rev. Stefan Jonasson and Rev. Richard Speck, both from the UUA Congregational, District, and Extension Services, had responded to the Board's request for their assistance.

    Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck have now worked out a schedule of group and individual meetings, which is described below. While this schedule may be of particular interest to our petitioning members, I want to emphasize that this process is open to any member of UUCF who wishes to participate.

    * OPEN MEETING WITH UUCF MEMBERS

    Saturday, October 28, 7:00-10:00 p.m.

    Due to the fact that the UUCF Sanctuary was already booked for our annual Halloween party, this meeting will be held at:

    Unitarian Universalist Church [Reston]
    [Address and phone number removed.]

    The meeting will be co-sponsored by Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck.

    * INDIVIDUAL APPOINTMENTS

    Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will accept appointments to meet with individuals, couples, and self-selected groups of no more than six individuals. Appointments should be schedules on the half-hour, but each session will run 20 to 25 minutes so as to allow for a short break between meetings. Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will meet with any one individual only once - that is, no one will be allowed to book an appointment as an individual and also come as part of a group.

    Individual appointments can be booked within the following time frames:

    Thursday, October 26
    Rev. Jonasson
    4:00-9:00 p.m. (10 slots)

    Friday, October 27
    Rev. Jonasson
    8:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.; 1:00 - 5:30 p.m. (18 slots)

    Saturday, October 28
    Rev. Jonasson
    8:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.; 1:00 - 4:00 p.m. (15 slots)

    Sunday, October 29
    Rev. Speck
    8:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. (12 slots)

    Monday October 30
    Rev. Speck
    8:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.; 1:00 - 5:00 p.m.; 6:00 - 9:00 p.m. (23 slots)

    These meetings will be held at UUCF. Call Patty Girman for an appointment, (703) 281-4230. Patty can be reached Monday-Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4 p.m. She will also be in the office this Sunday, October 22, from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

    The schedule above allows for a total of 78 appointments. If the request for appointments run far beyond that number, Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck reserve the right to cut the length of individual appointments in order to accommodate as many UUCF members as possible. Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck are willing to meet with friends and other non-members of UUCF, but only after all members have been accommodate (this restriction doe not apply, however, to non-members participating as part of a small group as long as there are members in that group).

    Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck have stated that they hope to meet with a representative cross-section of the congregation, and that they trust that individuals who identify strongly with one position or another will not attempt to exploit the limited number of appointments available by organizing an effort to "stack" the schedule. If necessary, they will endeavor to accommodate additional individuals by way of telephone interviews. Other appointments, meetings, and telephone consultations will be undertaken as necessary and appropriate. In addition, Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck welcome any written submissions that members may wish to offer; contributions are encouraged to be as concise as possible.

    Following their visit to UUCF, Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will prepare a joint written report of their findings and recommendations. In preparing the report, Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck will share and discuss with each other what they learned during the individual appointments, but will treat communications to them with the level of confidentiality that is customary in conflict intervention. The report will not attribute any comments or observations to particular individuals.

    The report will be submitted to the UUCF Board of Trustees, which will also be meeting with Rev. Jonasson and Rev. Speck. The target date for submission of the report is November 20, 2000. The Board will then take prompt and appropriate action.

    Sincerely,

    John C. Cunningham, President
    Board of Trustees

    Mediator Appointments Available,
    by Rosalie A. Clavez, 22 Oct 2000

    Subject: Mediator Appts. Available
    Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2000 13:42:50 -0700
    From: "Rosalie A. Clavez & Michael D. Berger"
    To: UUCF Chat, Birds Of A Feather

    At the start of the second service, someone announced, I think it was John Cunningham, that the individual appointments for meeting with the mediators, Rev. Speck and Jonasson, were already filled. When I went down to make an appointment mid-way through the second service, I found that there were plenty of openings although some time slots were taken.

    Rosalie.
    --
    Michael D. Berger
    Rosalie A. Clavez

    Re: Mediator Appointments Available,
    by Marcia Helme, 22 Oct 2000

    Subject: Re: Mediator Appts. Available
    Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2000 18:06:37 EDT
    From: [Marcia Helme]
    To: "Birds of a Feather"

    Rosalie,

    I find that discrepancy shocking. Either the President of the congregation is blatantly lying to the congregation, or else he is blatantly unaware or possibly blatantly stupid. Furthermore, Patty G told me that Stefan and Richard want a waiting list kept of anyone who requests an appointment after the slots are filled.

    Goldfinch

    Re: Mediator Appointments Available,
    by John Cunningham, 22 Oct 2000

    Subject: [uucf-info] FW:Conflict Resolution Appointments from John Cunningham
    Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2000 23:02:24 -0700
    From: [Mary Foster]
    To: [UUCF Info]

    -----Original Message-----
    From: Cunningham, John
    Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2000 12:26 PM
    To: Mary Foster
    Subject: Hi Mary. I need to put the message below on the Info List. thanks!

    Conflict Resolution Process -- Appointments are still available!

    Hi everyone. I misspoke when I said during Announcments at the 11:00 service on Sunday that all the personal appointment slots had been filled -- I misunderstood what someone had told me between services. There are still plenty of slots available. Call Patty at the Church office if you would like an appointment. Sorry about the confusion.

    -- John Cunningham

    Re: Mediator Appointments Available,
    by Billye Stevens, 25 Oct 2000

    Subject: John Cunningham's announcement re interview slots for the Consultants
    Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2000 17:35:30 -0400
    From: "Billye Stevens"
    To: "UUCF Chat", "Birds Of A Feather"

    Friends,

    I spoke to a Board member Monday evening. I brought up the subject of John's announcement the second service, Oct. 22, that all interview slots for the two UUA Ministers coming to UUCF as consultants are filled. I said, "Though John Cunningham wrote a retraction for the Info list, not a third of our members are on the Info list. It probably works well for the board." [By this I meant that some people may not learn of the many openings for discussion.] The Board member said that John Cunningham really feels bad about his mistake, that this is the sort of situation about which some people are not happy.

    Billye Stevens

    Re: Mediator Appointments Available,
    by Mary Binderman, 25 Oct 2000

    Subject: Re: John Cunningham's announcement re interview slots for the Consultants
    Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2000 21:26:58 EDT
    From: [Mary Binderman]
    To: [UUCF Chat]

    Billye:

    I believe that John made an honest mistake and has tried to rectify it. As I cannot attend the Saturday evening meeting, I took the responsibility to call and make my own appointment and assume that other interested individuals would have done the same. If I had called too late, I would have asked to be placed on a waiting list, as you know there will be people who will cancel when life intervenes in their plans. If I knew someone who was not on the list and who wished to meet with Stefan or Richard, I would call them. Perhaps all of us on the info or chat list could take on that responsibility.

    Mary Binderman

    [Re: Mediator Appointments Available, by Billye Stevens, 25 Oct 2000 is quoted in full here.]